Life Without Doug

Friday: October 29, 2010

I just looked at the clock and realized that it was 11:10pm. It was exactly four weeks, 28 days ago that Douglas died.

I am having a tough time with the death of Doug as I am sure would be the case with anyone who loses a child. Cathy and I cry frequently about Douglas. We remain heartbroken. We miss him terribly. It is painful and it just sucks.

Bob only talks about Doug reluctantly. He is sad about his brother, he is starting to understand that he is not at the hospital, he has even says that Doug is dead.

We went to the auto shop today to get the oil changed in my car. The shop is across the street from the back entrance to the graveyard where Doug is buried. Bob and I went to see his grave, I have gone several times in the last four weeks. I stop by almost daily. While we where walking around the cemetery Bob said that he missed Doug. He said that Halloween was coming and 'Doug won't be able to get dressed up and go trick or treating because he got dead.' whenever I talk to Bob about Doug he says that he doesn't want to talk about it.

This is one of the few times he would say anything about Doug. He won't admit to missing him, but he certainly does. He has asked for a few pictures of Doug to be put in his room. He specifically asked for a picture to be put above his bed so "I can see him everyday."

This summer Grandpa Drinko and I took the boys to the Memphis Kiddie Park. Doug got to ride the rides for the first time. Of course his big brother was there to protect him. He kept his arm around him and made sure he had a good time. When Grandpa asked why he had his arm around Doug so tightly, Bob said "Cause I don't want him to fall out and get hurt. He is my little brother."

Bob has been very sweet lately. Just yesterday I asked him for a kiss, he said "I will give you a hug because I know you miss Dougie." What a great kid.

Cathy has been very busy at work and I have tried to be busy at home. We are going through all things we have stored over the years and are giving away allot of stuff. We donated Doug's hearing aides to the Regional Infant Hearing Program. They will be used for children in the area that can not afford them, they already are in a good home. we donated all his food and feeding supplies to people who could use them.

We have painted my brother David's home and I had to dig a trench 18" deep and 30'long at my house to put new electric service in our garage. I ran into a large stone about 2' x 2' and 10" deep. It had to weigh a couple hundred pounds. We had to bust it up with a heavy sledge hammer in order to remove it.

We took Bob with his cousins to the Pumpkin Patch and went through the corn maze and took a hay ride. We have tried to keep busy and intend on visiting Doug's cousins Cooper and Jackson in Nashville next week.

We know that it will take a long time to get over Douglas. In many ways I don't ever want to get over Doug. He was simply a pleasure to be around. Even all the worries and surgeries and pain that he put us through was nothing when compared to the joy and pleasure that he gave simply by being the sweet boy he was. Regardless of the pain he was in , he still was always pleasant.

We continue to miss Douglas every day. It is getting easier in some ways, but harder in others. We hope and pray to see him again. We miss him and love him always.

Jim

Douglas is Laid to Rest

Catherine and I laid our beloved son Douglas to rest today with all the dignity that we could muster. We are distraught but determined none-the-less to go on. Through our sorrow and tears we found that we had the best family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances than anybody could ever hope to have.

We had a viewing for Doug on Tuesday and we where humbled by the tremendous amount of people who came to offer their condolences and to honor the life of our beautiful boy. Hundreds of well wishers stop by, all of whom commented on how much that Douglas had affected their lives for the positive. We are so very grateful to everyone that came to show their support. It brought us the strength that we needed to do what we had to do for Douglas.

The Funeral Mass was beautiful. There where hundreds in attendance and it was a great testament to how much Doug's short life affected so many in such a positive way. Fr. Duke & Fr. Cregan Co-Celebrated his mass and all of Doug's aunts, uncles, and cousins participated in the mass. Doug's Uncle Peter and his Godfather Uncle Richard delivered eulogies that where both heartbreaking and uplifting.They where exceptional statements of their love for Doug and the love that all in attendance have for Doug. Their words went a long way in helping to heal our broken hearts.

Doug has a very nice plot under a lovely tree at the Alger Cemetery. We requested a spot in the shade because Doug never liked the Sun. The cemetery is in the neighborhood and we intend to walk over to visit his grave sight often.

We where shocked at the amount of people who attended the graveside ceremony as the cars filled almost all the driveways and trails in the cemetery. Once again we where pleased and humbled by the love and support of everyone in attendance.

Hundreds of people showed up to Grandpa & Grandma Roth's house for a luncheon and get together after the services and it was wonderful to see.

It took a long time for Cathy, Bob & I to get accustomed to having Douglas around.We know it will take even longer to get used to not having him with us. We miss him terribly and will do so every day of our lives. We hope and pray that we get to see him in heaven when we pass from this earth. Until them we have our own little saint that can look over us, and pray for us.

Cathy and I want to thank everyone that have shown their love and support for us. We could not be more grateful.

Thank you,

Jim Roth

This is how we wish to remember Douglas. He was our happy little CHARGER who gave us much more than we could ever give to him.

Funeral Arrangements

Douglas will have a viewing from 2pm - 8pm Tuesday October 5, 2010 @ The Donlon Funeral Home 15408 Triskett Rd. Cleveland, OH 44111.

There will be a funeral Mass Wednesday October 6, 2010 @ 1pm at Our Lady of the Angels Catholic Church 3644 Rocky River Dr. Cleveland, OH 44111.

Douglas will be interred immediately following the Mass at The Alger Cemetary 16701 Bradgate Ave. Cleveland, OH 44111.





Catherine and I would like everyone to come to celebrate the life of Douglas. He was an amazing boy and an angel sent from God.

Douglas touched many people in his short life. Everyone that met him fell in love with him and he will be missed by all who knew him.

Douglas C. Roth Has Passed

Douglas Charles Roth died at The Cleveland Clinic Main Campus 11:10pm Friday October 1, 2010. He was surrounded by his Aunts and Uncles, Grandpa and Grandma and his Parents Catherine and James Roth. He was two years and one month old.

Wednesday he vomited his second feeding and was very lethargic. We took him into the pediatrician on Wednesday at 4:40 pm and he had good vital signs but a mild fever of 100deg. The doctor and I decided that it would be best to have him at the Clinic and Cathy and I took him in to the Main Campus at 7pm.

He was placed in the Pediatric Unit and they where finally able to get a line in him after several dozen attempts at finding a vein. He was hydrated and seemed to be doing fine. Sometime early Thursday morning he developed a rapid heart beat and a poor heart rhythm. He was transferred to the PICU and they administered Drugs and where unable to control his heart. He crashed around 3pm Thursday during a procedure to put in a groin line to have better access for drugs and fluids. The doctors did CPR compressions on him for around an hour and where left no choice but to put him on an ECMO Heart Bypass machine.

They where able to stabilize him, but his heart would not respond to the drugs and remained in a bad rhythm. They attempted to fix the problem with a catheterization but where unsuccessful.

His little body couldn't continue to fight. We kept him on the Heart Lung machine long enough for all his aunts and uncles to come and see him one last time. After his Uncle Peter arrived from Pittsburgh and saw him we waited another 30 minutes and Cathy and I held him as they turned off the life support machines. He passed very peacefully.

We are very appreciative to everyone for all the love and support that we received during Doug's short life. He was the light of our lives and the best thing that ever happened to us. He made us better parents, better friends, better siblings, better spouses and better people. He will be truly missed every day of our lives and our love for him will never fade.

We are making arrangements for his wake and funeral Saturday. We will have a viewing and services at Donlon Funeral Home on Triskett Rd. in Cleveland and a funeral mass at Our Lady of the Angels Church on Rocky River Dr. either Wednesday or Thursday. We will let everyone know when and where and everyone is invited.

Douglas touched many people in his short life everyone that met him fell in love with him and he will be missed by all who knew him.

Thank you,

Jim & Cathy Roth